I think I’m one of those people who is addicted to being busy.
Uh, ya think?
Yes. Seriously. About a week ago, I got off a plane from Atlanta, GA ending a month-long whirlwind of activity. Between family coming to visit, a baptism, a crazy May, the Garden Tour, returning to work, and my first work trip….life hasn’t slowed down at all. (Oh, there was another BBQ competition somewhere in there and the spouse took 1ST PLACE in ribs! Wowsa!)
So, why do I tell you this? Here’s why: I just read this article (thanks to lovely Andi at Polish My Crown) and it was this sentence that stopped me in my tracks. “It’s become the default response when you ask anyone how they’re doing: “Busy!” “So busy.” “Crazy busy.” It is, pretty obviously, a boast disguised as a complaint.“
Well, son of a……that’s me.
See that sentence up there….a list of all the stuff I’m SOOO busy with. Uh..more like a list of fun stuff. It’s a list of things I signed up for and love to do. As a result, I’ve skipped out on other things I love to do, like reading and running. And, oh yeah, blogging. When is the last time I posted a blog? Like, a month ago? Why? Because I created an insane amount of busy out of some desire to impress….someone. The world? Myself? Bloggers? My friends? Who knows.
I got up early this morning because I read another article about being productive before breakfast. Something along the lines of ‘successful people get a bunch of stuff done before most of us eat breakfast.’ Seemed like a good idea, let’s squeeze more busy into the day when I could be sleeping!
They fooled me with the word ‘productive.’ It’s kind of a fancy, type-A way to say ‘busy.’ But I did it, except I ate breakfast immediately because I was ravenous and Cheerios were calling my name. So, instead of being productive before breakfast, I was busy before work.
But, here’s the aha moment. By busy or productive, I mean I read my favorite blogs, made my bed, enjoyed my coffee, and started this post. Meanwhile, my little dude was playing under his play gym (and he fell asleep while playing…soooo cute!) So, wait a minute, that sounds like a nice morning. That’s the kind of busy I want to be. But why the heck did I have to get up early to do something I enjoy? What the heck am I doing with the rest of my time?
So, I’m done with being busy. I’m not ‘scheduling’ time to enjoy myself. Pssshh. I’m sick of feeling required to have a list of activities to
complain boast about to make me feel relevant. I’m sad that when I hear about a friend whose schedule is so packed full of appointments and meetings, that I get jealous (what’s wrong with me?). I’m tired of busy-work, of making plans, of needing to fill my days with activities because I have some ingrained need to ‘do it all.’
I don’t even know what ‘it all’ means anymore (but I thought this was an interesting take on the concept). Lately, I just want to do a good job at work. I want to spend time with my little guy. I want to be able to run without losing my breath and write when I feel like I have something to say. I want to sit in the summer sun, be careless about housework, read books I enjoy, and drink wine. I don’t want to schedule appointments with my friends, I want to enjoy spending time with them. I never again want to utter the words….‘I was going to but I didn’t have enough time.’
Maybe I’m finally prioritizing. I keep going back to this post wondering how to squeeze everything in and I’m realizing that squeezing it all in isn’t what I want. The things I want are getting overlooked; the important stuff isn’t front and center. So, I’m shaking off my need to be busy and am slowing life way, way down.
So, here’s to a lovely, lazy summer! I think I’m gonna drag the ol’ hammock out of the garage after work today and take a nap.